New beginnings , a Phoenix emerges.

The past 6 plus years have plagued my life with obstacles, not all bad just a lot of changes. I’ve had a hard time recouping from them, I haven’t had time to stop and heal and Covid ruined all I was building but I’m a Phoenix and I will rise from the ashes .

My life has always been a chaotic series of ups and downs. To the point I fear happiness because when I accomplish what think to be happy I end up falling harder and harder.

I wasn’t happy I was living a lie because it provided my children with a decent enough life. What I was ignoring is their fake life was killing them and killing me. All the years and hard work spent making this fake life happen was undone in an instant, and for the best.

My family went through so much but I will get into that later. What’s hurting the most is all the lies. My entire life has been surrounded by people who say they loved me and who lied to me about literally everything. Now most are dead and I can’t confront them. The people who still live refuse to discuss it, but the truth is undeniable. So many problems and struggles in my life were not random but intentionally orchestrated by my family to control me. Sadly, for once it all makes sense.

Even my abusive miserable marriage was based on lies. Not only did he lie to me about nearly everything, which I assumed but I spent years being accused of cheating and never did but he was the entire time. He’s not a looker so the fact he cheated on ME and accused me of things I didn’t do, making my life a living hell so I could keep my kids in a decent home is beyond me.

To find out my own father manipulated things in my life in an effort to control me and it just never happened because I pulled the opposite direction. I have waited and worried about telling my stories to protect so many but most have passed and I just don’t care anymore, no one cared about protecting me. How do I ever trust anyone again? I am remarried to my best friend but it’s still hard, and I know my kids who are adults will always have me but everyone else I’ll never be sure of.

It’s time to break my silence and to share with the world what I’ve endured. My production team and I are working on an advice podcast. Sadly I’ve been through a little of everything and lots of people reach out to me for my wisdom. We are working on the platform, for now we will read some of the questions that I’ve been asked and give the answers but keeping these peoples identities private. We hope to grow to where y’all can call in.

Thank y’all for being supportive all these years. I promise I won’t fail to deliver I also didn’t do want to offer y’all a half assed product. My life is pivoting and for the better and it’s time to share with y’all, for me.

I’ve been on an incredible journey. One I wouldn’t believe if I didn’t live it myself. All of my children have gone on their own adventures and my husband and I are settling into our next phase so this will be my main focus.

Thank y’all for supporting me and hanging in there. I’ve spent over half a year trying to be anything but myself thinking that would make me happy, but all I learned is that’s not who I am ever going to be. Instead of being who I’m not I’m going to become embrace who I am. I haven’t survived all these things for no reason.

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