Tonight, I met this sweet older couple that at face value looked like the most basic older white people ever but they were so awesome and gave me such a different perspective on life.

They told me about their 3 sons and how all were educated and two were married they loved their daughter-in-laws, one was gay but they loved him the same. Yes, they had some struggles but today the ages of 26 (they have twins) and 28 all three are living their best lives out of their home. After 36 years of marriage, they still have all the spark and love that they had years earlier.

I said, “how do you do it? What am I doing wrong “cause if the marriage was a graded score I’d have failed miserably, hopefully, this time I pass, because I want nothing more, but I’ve failed more times than votes will be recounted in 2020. 🤦🏽‍♀️

The wife says I let my husband stay home and raise the kids while I worked. 😱 My crazy brain started churning. Maybe they are right, maybe the stereotypical belief women staying home with the kids and men working isn’t always the best case. I know I have almost zero maternal instincts, my current husband is a much better parent when it comes to the day to day stuff. I’m more of the fixer, more of the person you call in an emergency, more of the protector and ass rider but he is way better at relating to them.

I’m not a horrible mom, I’m just not a mommy mom and won’t ever be. He’s a super dad and puts himself through shit I never could deal with. So, in a perfect world if we had met when we were younger, had our kids together (even met after we had after our kids were born) and I worked while he stayed home our kids would have probably ended up a million times better.

Not that our kids suck but there is an influence a father can have that a mother can’t achieve and maybe if we had done this earlier all of our kids would be thriving and succeeding.